- 2017 - USA - NATIONAL BROADCAST ALERT -
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"The following emergency broadcast system message is transmeted as a request of the Ohio state police.
An unidentified virus is rapidly spreading across the state of ohio and the first reports indicates that the virus origins remain unknown.
All we now is that the first victims are in Elyria, 440, Ohio.
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The virus has since spread to Toledo and Pitsburg. The United states department of health anticipates that the virus will spread to neighbouring states within the next 48 hours.
Symptomes of this airbourne virus includes nausea, vomiting, lost of muscle control, fever, blured vision and unconsciousness followed by respiratory alert.
Government officials near Elyria reported that victims previously declared dead have reanimated and exhibit violence and canibalistic behaviours.
The government states that we're witnessing a zombie apocalyspe! It’s not a fiction, zombies are here, craving for brains and human flesh.
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Remain indoors and acquire anything looking like a weapon to protect yourself against zombies. Government services are over extended, army is overwhelmed and is currently incapable of protecting you. You are on your own!"
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(What a refreshing beginning for a zombie story, wow.... ain't you impressed? we bet you cant' wait to read what's next? Us neither...)
THE STORY IS AVAILABLE AS A PDF WHEN YOU BUY THE DIGITAL ALBUM ON BANDCAMP AND AS PHYSICAL DIY FORMAT WITH ANY PHYSICAL PURCHASE. ANYWAY THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT !
CHAPTER ONE - YOU WON'T LAS LONG IN OHIO
- "START OF A NIGHTMARE" -
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The story began in 2017 when a Zombie apocalypse exploded in 44035 Elyria, OH, Usa. No one is actually sure about how and why this plague started but everybody is looking for one thing....Survive! The deads are spreading fast, the military forces don't manage to handle it and governments worldwide are overwhlemed.
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We don't work for any worldwide organization or governments and no one knows we exist... We've been training for years in case this would happen... Some people called us crazy, stupid, nerds, geeks even morons ... But here we are, year 2017, begining of what could cause the end of the world... we couldn't believe it ourselves. (Typical self - proclaimed heroes who think they can achieve anything... That's nice)
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Everything went so fast.... It was a regular Saturday night, we decided to go to Crocker Park (westlake, Oh) to drink one glass or two and get a good old burger when we heard over a local police radio station that there was some issue with people acting weird, attacking others...eating em !!! (yeah, we managed to get a police car radio transceiver when we started to train in case a Zombie outbreak would happen one day.... we are nerds and especially zombie nerds so we know better...).... After listening to the report for a minute, we clearly understood that it was happening... it was finally happening ...
We took the first exit to avoir being stuck in the traffic and drove straight back home. ( Just for this idea we shoulda call ourselves Ohio "smart" boys)
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We were scared and excited at the same time ! Once we arrived, first thing we did was to strengthen our car because keep moving is the first and most important rule in this case.... Till you manage to build a shelter or find somewhere to hide safely, you gotta move.
We put some corrugated metal and wire fencing to cover the windows and to strengthen the wafer thin door panels, added spikes on the wheels and loaded the car with homemade weapons, bulletproof armors and other useful things. We also had a shitload of dehydrated meals to hold for months (eating is the key ! If you don't eat you don"t shit, you don't shit you don't feel, you don't feel, it means you're dead... QED).
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We headed to the Elyria PD as fast as we could to warn them about what was occuring but it was already too late... Driving through the city, the only thing we could see was slowly walking corpses animated by only one thing...the urge to eat human flesh. Once we reached the station, we forced our way in and tried to talk the chief into sending a general alert to all the Police Departements of neighbouring cities so that they can put police blockroads till the military forces arrive to back em up... by the time he accepted and listen to us... The plague already spread to Cleveland, Cincinnati, Pitsburg ... A couple of hours was enough to nearly infect the whole OH state.
We asked to the Chief of Police if he had contact within the military forces, which he did... He managed to call some Lieutenant Colonel who contacted some other counterparts himself. After a few hours, we gathered approximately 4 platoons which were coming to extract us to one of our shelters out of the town...
(We know what you're telling yourself... How in the world a chief of police would listen to 2 stupid french guys explaining him how to deal with such a situation that he doesn't even know how to take care of himself? First of all, this is our story so we say and invent whatever crap we want + we saw army off the dead, land of the dead, day of the dead, resident evil 1 2 3 4 5 6 7, re-animator, braindead, shawn of the dead and many more, o we know better ok? Watcha gonna do boi? Watcha gonna do? jk guys, jk)
We've been refurbishing an old abandonned mansion for the past 10 years... Barricades, electrical fences over the front walls, deep moat with spikes at the bottom just arround the mansion, a drawbridge... we thought of everything we could.. Once we arrived there with the 4 platoons (approx 100 men + their lieutenant), we asked em to install the radio equipement plus snipers on the last floor, just under the roof, so that we could have a better view over the valley. Once we established the "control room", sodliers spread all over the property to circle the zone ... To us, this mansion and what was left of humanity inside was the last resort against the impeding doom threatening the earth... We had to be careful, well organized and cautious.
At this stage, our main goal was to spread the message and explain to people what was coming on em. We had to find any means or channel to tell people how to protect themselves, kill zombies and hide. To do so, we asked a squad of 15 soldiers to come with us to the central radio station in Cleveland so that we could broadcast our message through some of the biggest frequencies of the area and state...hoping some survivors overthere are still listening or trying to catch broadcasts...
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(Whaaaaat ? The first chapter is already finished? Well, 1 chapter = 1 album, the first album was just a starter, an apetizer, so it makes sense that the first chapter is shorter. Remember that we're not writers but just simple french guys, speaking, or in this case, writing as we can to tell our incredible, never seen before zombie story... So please, be happy with what you've got.... Are there many bands trying to write a side story about their album? NO :D )
CHAPTER TWO - ZOMBIE KILLING PROCESS
- "NOT A CLASSIC ZOMBIE APOCALYSPE, WE HAVE TO COUNTERSTRIKE" -
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It's been 2 years since we broadcasted our first message, since then, we've hardly managed to communicate with other survivors, news were not all good but what we discovered within the past months was crazy. The virus was infecting people through bites, scratches, contaminated water and all the general ways you could think of.... But there was something elese, GENERIC MUSIC...
Yeah, we don't really know how and why it started to turn humans into zombies but GENERIC MUSIC IS THE VIRUS... Was it a specific sine ? A calculated frequency included and volontalry put inside the big radio hits and generic bands's albums that are popping up every day ?.... We have to dig deeper to find out but being exposed to generic music for too long makes you loose your mind at first and transform you bit by bit... When we talk about generic music, it also include all the shity metal bands sounding the same, with an overprocessed sound and boring composition with no soul... We had to find the scientific explanation but at the time, this was not our priority...
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(By the way, we named the virus the LQS virus, "low quality slam" because that is the music we defend and make but unfortunaely, when you check out some bands, you clearly see that their music must also be a source of infection... We won't drop any name but being generic is a real thing in the slam death genre.... Anyway, wether it is generic slam bands or radio hits, we call it the LQS Virus... Just so u know)
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Our only obsession is to save more people and educate them about the virus and the plague... We spent months preparing our 1st major "transmission" under the form of an album... ZOMBIE KILLING PROCESS, the title, is pretty self explanatory. ZPK (zombie killing process) is a way to tell the survivors out there what they should be doing (read the tracklist of the album to find out) in order to start eradicating the plague at their own level. But that's not all ! Obviously, the "textual" part of the album is meant to give some basic keys to kill zombies but the music itself is a weapon. No bullshit, no generic breakdowns, no fancy trendy sound... Pure and uncompromising brutal death metal drenched in slaming riffs and groove... That is the key. In case you've been bitten by a dead or exposed to generic music for too long, just put some headphones on and listen to our whole album... As the authentic brutality is cleaning your brain and cells, the virus steps back to finally disapear from every centimeter of your body. That's not a definitive cure but it's a temporary way to avoid more infections.
We also led some experiences in the basement of our mansion which has been turned into a laboratory by some soldiers and ourselves. We locked up several zombies into a cage, played some of our songs through 6 inch speakers... After several minutes, they started to get paralysed, to have some convulsion... And eventually their head would implode.... We did it with different size of speakers and the conclusion was obvious... The bigger the speakers the faster they died....for good this time.
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Following these experiences, we decided to make some serious batch of this album in order to distribute it as far as we could phisically but also broadcast it... After months of hard work printing albums, writing detailed letters explaining how to act in such a situation, securing everything in reinforced trucks, we gathered the lieutenant and the chief of each squad who joined us in our shelter at the beggining of the apocalypse and decided to plan our upcoming actions. We couldn't stay in the mansion forever because even if it's tempting to stay here, where there is food, protection, security, weapons... We had to go outhere and help outside the border the the state, even more far away. (Yeah, no one would be stupid enough to leave such a shelter but are we heroes or not ?)
The idea is to take half of the men we have here at the mansion (approx 100 so 50), divide em into small squads of 5 soldiers to put em in 10 trucks. (Mathiematicians, level expert ain't we?) Each truck is loaded with ZPK albums and letters, ready to get thrown each time a truck would pass through a city, village or elsewhere with the hope that the copies would be found by survivors... They would learn how to kill zombies and get our Audio weapon to add to their arsenal. 10 truck isn't that much to travel all fifty states in USA but it's better than nothing. While these 50 soldiers are doing this Job, we, the Ohio Slamboys, are gonna try to cross borders and get to foreign countries to try impleting the same kind of action... We don't know if we're gonna succeed but it is worth the risk. Remaining soldiers at the mansion or OSB HQ, call it what you want, will keep broadcasting our transmissions, our albums and our plans to whoever is able to hear it... They will also keep growing food, building weapons, training and mainly support us as they could from there. As some members of the army were able to bring some small planes and copters back to the mansion, we could think of multiple things.
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We loaded our truck with what we thought could be useful and left off for NY, hoping to find some counterparts, survivor or anyone able to join our cause . Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Philadelphia... Every town we passed through during these hours of driving seemed to be a land of desolation. We stoped in the small town of EDISON just before NY, killed some zombies, tried to find some people, but.... nothing... untill we saw some light at the window of a house. It looked like someone was doing a sort of morse code... We decided to park near the house and aproached it cautiously; 2 soldiers stayed in the car and 3 of us went to the house... We tried to look through the windows but we couldn't see a thing with all the barricades... we decided to break the door.
What a suprise when we saw this guy, alone in this house which looked more like an armory than an actual house. He's been here since the beginning, resisting how he could, scavenging as far as he was able to... He told us that there was other survivors in the town who started to build a small shelter of their own. He connected with em to organize a local resistance team as required in our radio transmission ! Yeah, he heard our radio messages, he also unederstood that our music was another type of weapon / cure against the virus. He knew that because he healed himself by listening the album ZOMBIE KILLING PROCESS and described us exactly what we saw during our experiences back at the OSB HQ... After being bitten, he waited for several minutes and as soon as he felt like multiple symptoms of the virus, he put our album full volume in his headphones and every signs of the zombification disappeared quickly. At first, we thought he was crazy, because he clearly told us he let a zombie bite him on purpose, to verify if what we told about our music through radio transmission was true... and it was. We were shocked and undestood that he was down to anything to save the earth and defend humanity. (OMG, what a perfect match and recruit!)
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After a full day of explaination, discussion, about how he survived, how far he went, how many people he met, the number of weapons he managed to acquire and many other things....we decided to offer him to join our OSB squad .. He followed everything we did during the past year through radio, he trained himself and mostly.. he's still alive while most of people are fucking dead... It felt like we were meant to meet each other.
From now on, this guy would take the name of SLAMSOLDIER... Ohio Slamboys was not just me (Slamboy 2) and slamboy 1 anymore, and we were really glad about it.
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We stayed at his house for a week, detailed him what we were planning to do next (leaving for europe). We also took the time to reach out to the other survivors in the city to ask them if they wanted to maintain and reinforce their shelter to be an official OSB network Shelter? (it may seem a little bit arrogant but YES, we tryin to build a network fellas !!! Even if at the moment it seems more like a discounted version of it)...Obviously, they were reluctant at first but when we explained em that we already have a huge shelter back in OH with some military forces involved, a small laboratory, capacity to grow our own food etc... They got that we were serious about fighting the dead...We needed them as much as they needed us. The game against this plague can"t be played individually and has to be a team effort. Once we agreed, we sent their gps location to our main shelter in Ohio + a radio frequency (33343huex3) so that they keep in touch and collaborate easily while we're away. The goal would be to create a "shelter to shelter highway" ... if we think on the long run, having a full network of shelters and secured road would be the ultimate step before a huge final strike... But that's a story for another time folks....
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Daylight was about to die, that is when the 3 of us and the 3 soldiers accompanying us left for the New York harbor. On the road to finding a boat or something to leave the shore, I thought about what a messed up world we're living in! Countries and nations have always been fighting through history, participing in war all over the globe and right now, there was no nations, there was no enemy, there was nothing to fight for, except our own lives. As human, did we really have to reach such a level of catastrophe to get together... We had to die by millions to finally unite. I've always knew human kind was a big piece of shit but right now, we were witnessing it... Anyway, enough emotional speech and shit about how we should have act blablabla... We were about to reach the harbor... we parked near the silver lake park next to Tompkinsville. There was staten island ferry several miles away and we wanted to get one of their boat. One of the soldiers was an ex-Navy Force lieutenant and knew how to pilot such huge boats which was very convenient I gotta say.
(Are you telling yourself that we are really lucky guys? What a fucking coincidence, the someone in their team know how to use a boat... stop crying little crybabies... after all, isn't it our story? )
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Back to the timeline...
Approaching the harbor really close, we saw one of those ferries used to sail arround the statue of liberty. Our guy told us the tank of these boats was big enough to cross the ocean till the french coast with only 1 full tank if we're not making any detour.
We coulda jump on that boat and baaaam, right to France, easy peasy... It wasn't so simple, the dock to which the boat was attached was full of zombies and the bridge to climb on the boat broken. We couldn't walk to the boat even in the most discrete way as there was too many of them... We would end up like a turkey on a silver at a Thanksgiving dinner if you see what we mean... The only way was to go back to the truck, slam the gas pedal and crash into that mother fucking horde, slamboy 1 / slamsoldier / the ex Navy guy and myself would climb the rope to get on that boat and leave while the two remaining soldiers would cover us... But that was only if everything woulda work perfectly. We indeed reached the boat, the 2 remaining soldiers managed to cover us and drove back to our OH shelter to inform the rest of the team that we were off to France... Nevertheless, we had a tiny setback which made us loose at least 3 hours. Half of the crew were still on the ferry but not to serve us... They were dead...and walking. We had to shoot a few amo, chop several heads, throw some walkers overboard, sweat a little and then took off... (and you know what folks? One more time we got lucky because the boat tank was half filled but there was another rescue tank in the fish hold and guess what? It was full !)
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(Short Elleptical Narrative part: 5 days of travel, storm, lost, no radar blablablabla but finally arrived on the french coast near Bordeaux (arcachon bay), met several survivors in town, helped us finding vehicles and gas once we explained em our project of global resistance... Asked em if they were aware about the french situation and maybe european situation regarding the virus? No and No... Trained them, give them Zombie Killing Process albums to distribute in their local network or to any survivors they'd met.... We took off after a week in there to finally start our "TRYIN TO SAVE THE WORLD TRIP".... This whole travel allowed us to share more personal things with Slamsoldier about our lives before... He was a fan of Metallica, I hated them, he hated Megadeth, Slamboys 1 loved em and I was only into Suffocation and Blink182... If our adventures are based on the diversity which make us...What an impressive squad of heroes we make ;))...
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Here is the END of the second chapter / album... Are we going to manage spreading the word about the OSB ARMY we wanna create? Did our team in USA succeed in distributing ZOMBIE KILLING PROCESS through USA and organize the beginning of the resistance there? Let's find out in the next chapter of the OHIO SLAMBOYS STORY !!!!!
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CHAPTER THREE - CHOP x DRILL x KILL
- "THE DEAD ARE GONNA DIE TWICE, THIRD RADIO TRANSMISSION" -
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When we left the town of Bordeaux in France, we traveled French regions, Germany, Netherlands, Spain, Italy, even some African countries and quickly realized that the LQS virus spread faster than we thought as it crossed the ocean way before we arrived and yet, we still had hopes.
We left USA with the idea of helping as much as we could. We somehow wanted to duplicate what we started back in Ohio, implant shelters, grow them, train people to optimize their survival and defending skills.... But this wasn't enough regarding the amount of souless corpses already walking. Sure, we met all sort of person fighting and surviving, small groups in tiny camps, people who already built sort of shelters, others that were well organized already and good on their own and even some survivors who got our radio transmissions here in Europe. Was it enough? The answer is no... After months of traveling, we were reassured to see that every human being whom we crossed the road was doing everything in his power to survive but we had to unite at a larger level. Each group we met was starting to get breathless... Searching for food and weapons further and further, loosing people here and there... No one could go on like this indefinitely, even us (OSB) were starting to get tired of this non stop moving rythm...
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What we want is to build an international resistance and unite with teams from each country to coordinate a global offensive ! "Local tower defense mode" wasn't how we would kill em all (Metallica fans where are ya?) , we had to go further and build a real OSB ARMY ! Each people we met received a paper with the OSB radio frequency "33343huex3" and was asked to connect to this specific frequency every day till our next transmission which will deliver the next part of our plan.
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(Elleptical Narrative part : We got back to our main OSB HQ shelter in Ohio and realized that our plan worked here...Our guys worked their ass off ! Now, There was some secured shelter to shelter roads in 38/50 states in USA, they managed to distribute a kind of "Zombie Survival guide by us " teaching gardening technics to grow food, defense technic,s shelter building methods, our albums as sonic weapons and every advices we could give... They also equiped all the shelters they could with a radio receiver or super long distance talky-walky so that the one who didn't have a receiver could still receive infos by other shelters... We had severel meetings and discussion with the chief of military forces who ran the HQ in our absence about what we did in Europe and what's gonna come next)...
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You had the first album (1st transmission), YOU WON'T LAST LONG IN OHIO, which was more of an informative transmission about the very start of the zombie outbreak, the second one ZOMBIE KILLING PROCESS was crystal clear and delivered you the method of "how to kill zombies to start surviving".
The 3 rd transmission is NOW :
Emitters - Slamboy 1 / Slamboy 2 / Slamsoldier
IP / FM .../..../.... untraceable...
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Tshhhh tchhhhhh tshh... (Noisy signal... before the speech) tshhhhh.... (guys an girls, please try to imagine the FX and special sound effects ! We're giving our best here)
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If you’re hearing this, it means you’re still alive and found your way through the mess that have been the past 4 years… since our first transmission, since it all began.
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We may have crossed your path, helped you build your shelter, you may have fight the dead with us when we were in your region or, you may have never met us and are just listening to us for the very first time... Whatever the situation you heard of us, just know that we plan on saving the world (and there we go again, another optimistic speech full of cheesy hopes coming...). WE NEED YOU ! It is time to stand tall, it is time to join our forces! We can’t just be the Ohio Slamboys anymore…. We have to become an army, THE OSB ARMY!
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We have to step up our game, organize the resistance at an international level, recruit, train to fight and strike hard this fucking plague! We already tried to start something here in USA which actually work and allow us to maintain the deads but right now, we have to exterminate the maximum of em....
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This message will be diffused on loop mode through our own radio Frequency “33343huex3” and networks for the next months from now on…
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You know what’s left to do… Unite, train, elect a "speaker" who's gonna keep in touch with us till we throw the final orders before the strike ! This is a kind of international operation never seen before and we won't lie, It’s gonna be tough, we will certainly loose people, some base or shelter won’t hold… but it’s a fight that we have to take…We will come back to you to attribute roles, tasks, deadlines by region, by country, by town…This is gonna be tedious but it is the only way to start a new era, an era in which human will be able to move again, to meet each other even if there's still have dead walking arround... Sure we would prefer to eradicate them all at once but let's be realistic for one sec, there are too many, even if we don"t have stats or reports showing us the true charts, we know. We've traveled far enough to evaluate and compare the number of survivors vs the number of deads we saw. Nontheless, we are smarter because we're human and even if we're inferior in number we are superior in term of organized violence !
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We count on you, we believe in you, in us, in the OSB ARMY ! As seperated groups we are survivors, as a whole team we're a weapon !
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Operation CHOP X DRILL X KILL initialized !
We repeat, operation CHOP X DRILL X KILL initialized !
End of transmission…
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vivors who decided to join the OSB ARMY but also from people oversea ! France, Spain, Italy, Belgium, Norway, Morroco, Germany, Austria, Ukrain, Baltics, Russia... and the list could go on like this for a while. Every person who heard the CHOP x DRILL x KILL transmission gathered even more people than expected, drew maps of their area giving a large overview miles arround, allocated ressources to everyone in his perimeter, trained any survivors they could...and now... Everyone is just waiting for our signal ! The tension could be cut with a knife, the world is about to change, the story of humanity is about to take a new turn one way or another... But we can’t stop right now, we came too far, to give up who we are, who you are. It’s not just us anymore, it is the OSB ARMY and even if we, The Ohio Slamboys are what embody the resistance against the plague, against the generic music... We all are the army...
HELP US SPREAD THE MESSAGE AND FIGHT !
THE WAR IS NOW !
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